Adult Costumes #3: Boooiiiinnnnggg!!

If you weren't sure what that title means, it's the sound a totally hilarious BONER makes! Also known as SCHWING! Or, if you're Ham Poe circa 2005, BIFF! So, for the next installment of this "funny" adult costumes series, I'm going to show you some of my favorite HILARIOUS dick/oral sex/dude joke costumes. Excellent!

Without further ado, bra, here's one for the sports fans out there:

Ahahahaha... Yankthese! It also kinda looks like he has a small child's butt in his pants. Hot! Come to think of it, is having grossly disproportionate balls something to be proud of??


Here we have something for the guy who doesn't want to wear a head-to-toe costume, but wants to make a statement about his girth none the less.

HUNG LIKE A HORSE! I find this to be one of the scariest costumes I've ever seen. He looks less endowed, more "OMG WHY DO YOU HAVE A SEVERED HORSE HEAD IN A NOOSE? YOU ARE DISGUSTING!"

Another one for the guy who doesn't want to be too showy or obvious.

See, I bet when you first read his shirt you were like "Hey, gross! I don't want to touch your penis." But then you saw the monkey on his shoulder and you were like "Oh, ha! For a second there I thought you were being really tacky and pervy, but you actually DO have a monkey!"

This next one is so terrifying. What girl wants to be with a guy who has bionic, evil-looking sperm?? That's the last thing I would want right now.


Oh, phew! Thank goodness Super Sperm's arch enemy also came to the party - CAPTAIN CONDOM!


These next few gems are of a category I like to call "Get it? It's my PENIS!" There's lots of fun varieties upon this theme.

Like, the Snake Charmer:


Or for the gamers out there, the Snake arcade game!

Get it?? JOYSTICK?! Oh man, dude, you're the man! Dude!

These next two guys just want to sell you a delicious treat.




Hey, wait a second! That's not what I wanted at all! Oh well, CHOMP! (AHHH@@#$&%!!!!)

Now this next one is a great two-for-one combo: weed reference AND a blow-job joke all rolled into one! For the guy who was torn between dressing up as a Rastafarian or a Dick-in-a-Box, let me introduce you to BONG KING!


Along those same lines, here's a good middle ground between beer and BJ.

Hey, ladies, he's just trying to make sure you don't drive home drunk! Guys too, line up! The meter at the top goes from "Boring" to "Life of the Party" to "Sotally Tober"!

Ok, I could go on for days with this category.. seriously, the possibilities are ENDLESS! However, I'm going to end with what may be the Rolls Royce of tacky, tasteless dude costumes: THE SHOCKER.

Who gave the green light on this idea? I am dying to meet the poor soul who had to design this.